But not for long! Rory comes to class and announces his student visa has been denied and he will be leaving to go back home to Ireland. Cue a very sad Rory singing Buble's Home. He sounds amazing (the best Damian has on the show so far) and Sugar decides to take him to the party instead. I smell trickery there Mr. Flanagan. Santana and Brittany just want to be able to kiss in the hallways but someone has complained. Santana thinks it's Joe, the new Christian, dreads wearing, guitar player who is contractually obligated to take up screentime for 7 episodes. His presence in this episode includes him contemplating Gayness in the God Squad club at Mckinley and singing Stereo Hearts to Rachel as a Vocal Valentine. Tina and Mike celebrate their love by singing L-O-V-E. It's cute, adorable, and really quick.
Mercedes decides to finally tell Shane the truth about her and Sam. The dude cries. I laughed. A very emotional Mercedes starts to sing I Will Always Love You. She sounds amazing. She tells Sam she can't be with anyone right now. Don't fret. They'll probably get together before the finale. Kurt is excited that Blaine is his secret admirer this week and sends him Gorilla-Grams and Valentines all week. Kurt meets him for a date and surprise! It's not Blaine. It's Karofsky! Yayyy Dave is back! Nooo Dave thinks he loves Kurt. Ugh. Why Glee? Why? Can't they just become good friends or something? Kurt, naturally, turns him down because he loves Blaine. Dave leaves the restaurant teary eyed but not before an old schoolmate stops him at the door. He sure looks like he overheard what just went on. I am now very, very worried for Dave.
Rachel's dads. Are. Flawless. They come out on the Mckinley stage singing a little on the piano about how excited they are that the two of them are getting married. They suggest a dinner party with Finn and his family to celebrate. Ahh. A little reverse psychology. Beautiful. Not so excited is half of the Glee club who think it's ridiculous their friends are even thinking about getting married. I mean, really. Do they think they're Cory and Topanga?
The dinner party kicks off with a lovely little performance of You're The Top by the entire Berry clan. Beautiful! Encore! This performance is followed by an amazingly awkward dinner conversation about lube. Jeff Goldblum. How I love thee. The parents then all announce that instead of dinner, they will be encouraging the two of them to go upstairs and have sex and cohabitate. They're not kids anymore if they can get married! See? Reverse psychology. Rachel and Finn go upstairs where Finn seemingly waits like 5 hours for Rachel's night routine to end. She's taking too long. The boy has to poop. Rachel announces that he certainly can't poop there and should probably go home and poop when she's not around. Let him poop Rachel! They start arguing, Finn leaves, Rachel throws a hairbrush, and an eavesdropping Hiram and Leroy toast each other.
Sadly, and to Leroy and Hiram's surprise, they kiss and makeup by the time the commercial break is over. They announce plans to push up the wedding and get married in May. Hey! Just in time for the season finale! They head out for Sugar's party where Blaine ruins everything by showing up to sing Loveshack to Kurt. I kid. It's actually a fun performance. It looks like one big party. Dreads announces that it's like, totally okay to be gay and they all sing Cherish/Cherish to Brittany for Santana. A Brittana kiss!
Favorite Quotes of the Night:
Leroy: I had one dream that Tony Danza and I went ice fishing!
Hiram: I said Leroy, this guy sold us the wrong lube. That's why the rubber is squeaking. That's why it feels so weird when we start going really fast.
Mercedes pondering about Simon, the gay apostle.
